Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Each day as I look at my three beautiful children I am reminded that life should be cherished in the small moments. We often get caught up on completing our tasks for that given day and forget to stop to appreciate what each day holds. My children remind me to slow down! They have the ability to show me that life is full of much wonder and amazement in all the details of life. I am considered an organized planner from the very day I wake to the years in the future. However, these last few days have caught me off guard as I have realized once again that my life cannot be fully organized and defined as normal. I strive to make life normal based upon what society deems to be normal for my children. The truth betold is that our life will never be similar to the majority of families in society. We are reminded instantaneously how vulnerable our family is when our son can be playing one moment and then the next minute spike a fever that causes us to rush to the emergency department for treatment. Many families will not experience thoughts, emotions, and general life struggles such as: The fear the we have to always give over to God concerning our son's health and the concerns for our other daughters, insensitive comments by people as they truly don't understand what it is like to have a child diagnosed with cancer, the worry, the sadness, the questions of "why us," "why my child," how can I make this better, how can I make sure that our daugthers don't miss out because of this diagnosis, how can we make sure that Gabriel does not miss out, how do we protect him, how do we go about our life without so much focus on our family, and most of all the overwhelming feeling of what does tomorrow and the future hold. My husband, myself and our children live a life in unpredictability. One moment we are having fun and then the next moment it changes. We are reminded once again that life as it was before February 11th, 2009 will remain a memory that is gradually fading as more memories begin to replace that time when life was more simplier. I know that I cannot change our circumstances, but I CAN CHANGE HOW I RESPOND TO OUR PRESENT DAY AND FUTURE. My children will know that laughter, love and sadness our true experiences, and it is okay to experience all emotions. I will teach them that we make our destiny brighter when we choose to view life's circumstances as one that will help us grow and one day to help others. I will teach them through this experience the value of empathy for one another. I will teach them to love everyone and to never persecute. To reach out in love. Most importantly, I will teach my children that God loves them and has a Will for each of their lives.